At a church social, a little boy came up and asked me how old I was, I said, “I’m 76.” “And you’re still alive?” he said. – Jack Wilson
I’m so old I daren’t buy green bananas – Bruce Forsyth
I’m at an age when I drop a fiver in the collection plate, it’s not a donation, it’s an investment – Ralph Layton
How do you know when you are old? When you double your current age and realize you’re not going to live that long – Micheal Leyden.
I’m 59 and people call me middle aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know? – Barry Cryer
Old age is like underwear. It creeps up on you – Lois L. Kaufman
A person is always startled when he hears himself called an old man for the first time – Oliver Wendell Holmes.