I Can Never Go Back

It's unreal, how I'm becoming the person I never imagined I would be--
but in all the small ways,
the unexpected ways--
the unimportant ways.
like making sure my son gets up for work, even if he doesn’t need me to…
going grey and having little or no hair
and it is the losing of hair that obsessed my youth ,
I was worried that baldness was a real possibility.
I hated the thought of losing my hair,
and wouldn't even consider any product that would promise to keep my hair.
I also used to wonder,
as a teenager,
I would examine my hair loss and watch for any signs,
making sure that I would never go bald…
now I know.

I can never go back to that teenager that was so obsessed with their baldness..
I wish sometime I could go back and tell myself
the secrets of my future.
I would smile, as I breathed out the silvery words, "life is a fountain of opportunities ."
I would look into my eyes
and encourage myself to embrace the glorious unconditional love of God..
I'll never have that chance...
but I can move on from this point in time
for it is the same God, and it is the same unconditional love.
God’s offer of his love is timeless
God’s has never changed in his value and acceptance of me
It was at the Cross that God accepted me
It was at the Cross that he took a hopeless rebel--
and made him his son
It was at the Cross that He kept me  and offered me all that he had created for me.
it was at the Cross that his goodness overflowed to me.
sometimes His love blows my mind.
when I think off his extravagant grace
and I know that his acceptance to me is an act of scandalous generosity and infinite love
even though I know it deep inside my heart
I'm so overwhelmed by the magnificence of his grace
that it sets my heart dancing
and keeps me forever in his wonderful embrace of love.